Outside Air Conditioning Sounds Legit

ThePostGameQatar won the bid to host the 2022 World Cup by promising that its nine new open-air soccer stadiums would be air-conditioned. Now the Qataris have announced another cool twist to their hospitality — an artificial cloud to hover above the stadium and provide shade. The head of mechanical and industrial engineering at Qatar University said the cloud would be positioned by remote control and run on solar power.

OK, so if anyone follows the world of soccer you know that the U.S. got absolutely jobbed by FIFA President Sepp Blatter and they gave the 2022 World Cup to Qatar. I mean, in the grand scheme of things it is just good business giving the world’s largest sports tournament to a country that has an average temperature of 106 degrees in the summer months. How many people are going to have some kind of heatstroke or crazy shit like that? Way to go Sepp, you blow.

I have to admit though, this outdoor AC shit sounds pretty badass. Imagine going to Fenway in the dead of summer and just chillin? I mean, Fenway sucks to go to in July or August. It is hot as balls and you’re basically sitting on the lap of the person next to you. It bites. Imagine being able to sit back and relax like its indoors, but wait, I’M OUTSIDE! It says this will cost about 500,00 per unit, are you telling me those dingleberries who run the Sox can’t dole out an extra half a mill to make that dump of a stadium a little more bearable? They’ve jam-packed the f’n place with so many seats you might as well be a sardine to fit, the least they can do is this. So c’mon you creepy fuck John Henry, let’s get on top of this. You own one of the biggest soccer clubs in the world now, you HAVE to know about this outdoor AC. Doooooooooo it, if not for me, for you. I am going to need to spend many afternoons watching my man crush Adrian put holes in the Monster and that will translate into many dollars from all the beer I will drink.

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I Think This Guy is Joking. He Must Be.

ESPN- Connecticut coach Geno Auriemma, disappointed by a half-empty arena for Tuesday’s home NCAA tournament game, says his team’s fans have been spoiled by years of the Huskies’ dominance in women’s college basketball. “I think it’s probably natural. I guess we need to win more,” Auriemma said after UConn advanced to its 18th straight Sweet 16 with a 64-40 win over Purdue in the second round of the NCAA tournament. “Everybody loves a winner, you know.” “Maybe we should offer free parking, more giveaways,” he added. “We should let some of the fans coach the team, maybe a guest coach every quarter.” Auriemma’s comments came after an announced crowd of 5,729 watched the last home game of star Maya Moore’s college career. That’s a little more than half of the 10,027-seat capacity at Gampel Pavilion, the school’s on-campus basketball facility.

Hey Geno, why not take a step down off your high horse for a minute and realize that maybe, just maybe no one gives a rats ass. Is there anything more painful than watching women’s hoop? It really sucks. You guess you need to win more? I bet half the teams you play couldn’t beat the Perkins School for the Blind! There are MAYBE 4 good teams every year and it is the same exact teams you read about(and obviously by “read” I mean I see the headline on espn.com) all the time. Why the F would anyone bother going to watch blowout after blowout? I understand if there was some good hoop going down, but there isn’t. I have admittedly seen a UConn-Tennessee game or two, especially when my girl Brittany Jackson was at UT, but that’s about it. Anything else makes me want to gouge my eyes out. So if there is ZERO entertainment value, how can you expect people to show up? I certainly wouldn’t waste my friggin time watching shit basketball. I think the real problem here is this ass hat Auriemma. Does this guy suck or what? What an egotistical dick. I am not sure there is a coach in college athletics that loves himself more than Geno. Can you even imagine if this guy has a family? Holy hell it must be all Geno all the time in that household. So Geno, if you have enough time and stop blowing yourself, think about the real problem….your product just isn’t entertaining.

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Fat Commentary – Nice Hat, You Tool.

For the longest time I thought earmuffs were as bad as it could get. Any person wearing earmuffs was open for ridicule in my opinion and I am not talking anything simple. I am talking finger pointing, laughing in your face ridicule. Then these friggin hats come along and honestly, are these the dumbest fuckin things going or what? I know I may be a few months behind the times in writing about them, but considering we have not been at this that long, I think we can make an exception. For serious though, I see adults wearing these things constantly now…let it sink in before I repeat that for you…one more second….ok….GROWN MEN AND WOMEN ARE WEARING ANIMAL FACES ON THEIR HEADS IN PUBLIC!!! What in the hell is wrong with these people? I know if my three year old god daughter wanted one I’d buy it for her, wanna know why? Because she is three years old and should be wearing that stuff. I mean if I made a bet and had to wear one in public I wouldn’t even know where to buy the f’n thing. Yet here I am, watching person after person cruise around the city of Boston wearing this ridiculous shit. Did they all lose bets? Are they just that stupid? Did they try it on as a joke and think “Oh cool! Sweet fashion statement!”. Wrong D-bag, you look like a tool.

-Fat Dude

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A lot of Random Things to Catch Up On…

So much has happened since the last Fat Commentary, so I am gonna try my best to catch everyone up on the world. I have a few commentaries loaded up ready to roll, but we will get to those later.

So my St Patty’s Day assault on my liver actually began two weeks ago on my trip to the Garden to see Blake Griffin. Dude is straight filth and I was so excited to see him. What happens? He stunk, I blame KG’s D, but he was awful. Of course he didn’t have to do anything. Mo Williams thought he was Oscar Robertson for a night and was just ridiculous. He couldn’t miss, I thanked him for not ever being 10% as good when he was in Cleveland. If I wasn’t in the last row of the joint, I am sure he would not have been pleased. But when you consistently throw out a shit sandwich every time you play the C’s like he did, you should expect the verbal barrage. Since the miserable loss to the Clips the Celts have hit a little slide. People are so nervous about it but I ask why? This is a team that turned over half its roster at the deadline, played how many games with like 8 dudes and are still battling for that coveted 1 seed in the East. Rondo has not been very good lately, his minutes were up and his play was down, with a reliable ball handler in Arroyo now behind him, expect better play and less minutes. For those who were blaming the D, relax. There are a few reasons I say this. First, teams are shooting the f-ing lights out! I am not talking dunks and layups, I am talking ridiculous jumpers that have no business falling. Look at that loss to Jersey last Monday….did Deron Williams miss in the clutch? Christ Almighty that was brutal. Secondly, they are just getting back to full strength. Baby and D West were huge in the win in N’awlins the other night. That second unit is going to be very very very good, especially if the Diesel can get healthy. This will be the deepest team in the playoffs if it happens. Throw in Murph just rounding into shape and Pavlovic never leaving the bench and it’s all good. Chicago and Miami’s second units are a joke, that’s where the C’s need to step up. Play those teams even with your first unit and crush their spirits with the second unit. In a 7 game series Rose, Wade and LeBron can’t play 48 minutes every night.

I guess I should make some time for some real news and here it is…. HOLY SHIT JAPAN! You have to feel bad for them. That is just some awful stuff. I saw a picture in the paper of a woman talking through glass to her daughter who was diagnosed with high levels of radiation, just a shame. God Bless all of those people. And Libya? Honestly? How many wars can one country fight at once? Don’t get me wrong, I support all the troops and hope they beat the shit out of anybody that needs it, but man…I feel bad for them too. We just keep getting right in the middle of anything that goes on. I understand it comes with being the greatest country in the world and all but wowzers. Ok, enough serious stuff…moving along…

…the Bruins stink. Holy Moly do they blow right now. Just inept in every facet. Tank has hit a rut and Tuukka has been very good, unfortunately no one in front of him has been any good at all. Is it time for Claude to get the gate? Should Chiarelli take a page out of the Lou Lamoriello playbook? Cut ties with Claude and give Cam the keys to the car? Or Mike Milbury? Or anyone who will let these guys use their wheels and outskate people? Does Cam tell Chiarelli to F himself and that he should be on the same plane out of town that Claude is on? Sadly, I am not sure that puts them over the hump anyway. Normally one always says, hey anything can happen if your goalie gets hot and I usually agree, however if you look at the list of teams that have taken home Lord Stanley’s Cup since 2000 they all have one or two traits the Bruins do not…the first is a player that makes you say “Holy Shit, “He’s on the ice”. The Bruins just don’t have that player. Looch might become that guy at some point, but not now and I am pretty sure EVERYONE was looking for a little more from Nathan Horton. Inconsistency has plagued him all year. The second thing they don’t have is that entire line that makes goalies poop their pants. Even the ’06 Canes had that Staal line that was just a friggin machine. Claude needs to take the training wheels off these guys and let them skate. They brought in Kaberle, Peverly and Kelly and then put the brakes on them. These dudes are excellent skaters, let them fly. The defense first philosophy is great, but with some of the guys you have you need to let them be professionals, let them get out, forecheck and skate their asses off. All the while assuming they will remember their defensive principles when it counts. I am just not sure Claude is comfortable enough with himself to do it and if he doesn’t, we will be waiting another year for our chance to see anyone wearing the spoked B lift Lord Stanley’s Cup over his head.

And since it is March…it is time for the Big Dance…but since this blog is already ridiculously long, we will save that for another time.

-Fat Dude

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I Hang Out with a Boston Celtic….or Do I?

Ok People, I am back and I am coming out swinging. If any of you can tell the difference between the pictures below you are better than me! I had no idea that one of my best friends is actually Nenad Krstic’s long lost brother, Bobo is one sneaky bastard! Dude can even take a jumpshot without looking, I wish Bobo would teach that to his brother Nenad! Go ahead…look…can you tell the difference?

Thanks Princey for the Photoshop work. These are awesome.

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Back After It!!

Here we go folks, after some heavy drinking and partying last week by your boy Fat Dude, we will get back after this blog game. You want sports? It’s here. You want random? Got that too. You want anything else that will make you shake your head in disgust, I am sure I’ll get some of that for you too….stay tuned for a gem coming at you soon!

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Where o where has Fat Dude gone?

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